Sunday, September 10, 2006

That’s my cousin!!
Current mood: impressed
Category: Sports

“study hard, work hard, and play hard!”

—————-www.epgridiron.com—————

FINAL IRVIN 14 YSLETA 10

The gridiron was in perfect condition for football, it was wet and muddy! The Ysleta Indians and Irvin Rockets had a difficult time running in the very slippery gridiron at Hutchins Stadium.

Irvin QB Troy Thompson did manage to elude Indian defenders in the final minutes of the game to connect with Alfredo Retana for a TD which sealed the victory for the Irvin Rockets. Great game!
Currently listening:
Party Doll and Other Favorites
By Mary Chapin Carpenter
Rel

Friday, September 08, 2006

You’re not alone, I once thought I was brave, but I can’t stop crying…
Current mood: energetic
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I’ve been stuck. Classic writer’s block. I have attempted several times to post some new blogs, and every time, I come up blank. So, I’m going to post a comment that I wrote in response to someone else’s blog…sorry it’s not new, but I hope it whets your appetite and stirs your soul.

Reading your blog has reminded me of some things…first, that you are NEVER alone. Second, when prayers feel as though they are being ignored, they very well might be–but only for the meantime. Third, sometimes our most cherished relationships come up out of the cold, hard frozen ground.

You know that you are never alone. You know that Christ is with you always, even to the ends of the earth. You know that His promises are always constant and secure. You know all of that. Feeling it is something entirely different. Feeling as though you are alone is sometimes the difference between feeling life and death. The worst feeling I have ever experienced is the feeling of being alone-by myself-stranded-ignored-looked over-lonely-desperate-scared out of my mind. I went through a time where I knew for sure I was meant to travel this world alone. Even with a husband and two wonderful children, I still felt as though that was my going to be my destiny. I didn’t feel a connection to any of my friends here. Shell was my only constant friend, but she was states away. I felt as if God must want me to feel lonliness for one reason or another.

I prayed and prayed and prayed for that cup to be removed. I prayed and prayed and prayed for that cup to be replaced. I prayed and prayed and prayed for my existing friendships to be renewed, restored or repaired. I cried to myself in the car, trying so hard to choke back the tears so my son wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong. It frightened me to feel so alone, because in the past, when I felt that alone, the only option I could see was suicide. I tried 3 times in my life-at 14, 17, and 19. The first time, I was trying to escape the hell my stepmother had created for me. The second time, my dad had just died, I wanted desperately to talk to someone about my pain, and the only person around was my mother. She literally told me she was too busy watching a movie on TV and I couldn’t stand that empty, gaping, burning hole in my gut after being rejected once again. The third time I was living in Joplin, had been working 3 jobs just to avoid real contact with my friends, had nearly lost my virginity to a complete and total stranger and could no longer exist in what I had made of my life. Feeling alone is the worst feeling in the world.

Finally, after 13 years of living in a semi-constant depressive state, I decided to change the way I viewed my life and dealt with my past. I no longer had the option of offing myself being that I had a husband and two children to care for. I started seeing a Christian Lay Counselor, one who was very blunt and very forward in her opinions and how she viewed God’s word. For the first few months, I hated going and left her office feeling more frustrated than when I came. Long story short, now 2 years later, she has become one of my closest friends. She has been the one person in my life who not only believed in me, but encouraged me to change myself. She has shown me, not only through her teaching and counseling, but through example, how to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, a better person and above all a better Christ follower. She taught me that when I feel the most alone, that is when I need to look outside of myself and listen to the One who created me. Join Him in communion (not the juice and cracker kind), offer my heart to Him, plead with Him to be my Only. It took a looooooooong time to actually put that practice into place, and I still struggle every single day. I long so much for that human touch, that motherly concern and that closeness known between good friends. But more than my most desperate longings, God desires to be my All.

He gave me that wonderful friendship with my counselor-but only after I had chosen to lean on Him for my companionship. Only after, and then one year later, she moved. I go through rough patches when I miss her so much my heart hurts, but worth more than her presence is her spirit. There’s always a phone, the internet, and occasional visits to help us keep in touch. What she has taught me as a friend and a counselor has helped me to depend on Christ-even when I don’t want to.

I obviously don’t know the background behind your situation, but I can hear the hurt you are feeling. I am praying for you, that God would provide for you what you need the most right now-maybe something you aren’t even aware of.

Unfortunately, our churches aren’t always the ideal meeting grounds for our future friendships. Regardless of the building, the politics and the people, I hope you can find your way through the crowd to what you are looking for.

In Christ-tweed

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If these old walls could speak
Current mood: determined
Category: Parties and Nightlife

This morning, my bible study was based on Psalm 127:1.

“Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is useless. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.”

I strive to provide, through my home, a safe haven, a comfortable atmosphere and a loving and friendly environment. I want all who enter to be able to feel Christ’s love and devotion. My prayer is that God will continue to be with me as I aim to please Him in my home-whether it be through entertaining, providing safety, shelter and food, or just a clean and welcoming place to gather. I pray that He would help me focus my time, my efforts, my discipline, my motivation and my desire to make a home solely on Him and His word. He has blessed us beyond imagination with this house and 35 acres of land, not to mention all who enter in.

Jeremy and I have opened our home to many people, even before we owned this house. We feel that because of all He has blessed us with, we are to bless and provide for others. For the past couple of years, we have been faced with the decision to not allow certain people into our home, due to their lack of respect of those around them and their attitude toward our friends and family. It was not an easy decision, but it is also not one we regret. Our home is a symbol for God’s protection and God’s love; given to all who come in it through the blessing of four walls. I am grateful for His provision, His wisdom, His teaching, His love and His word. Based on all of the above, Jeremy’s and my job is to provide such through our home. Some disagree, but not many. We have dealt with very little opposition-in fact, those who it has affected personally have been able to feel free to come over without fear of degradation.

Thank you, God, for your word. Thank you for being specific in instruction. Thank you for giving Jeremy and me strength to protect our own. Thank you for blessing us with this amazing home, and even more importantly, our friends and family who are able to share it with us.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Check out this video: Happy Birthday Dear Mom…
Current mood: content
Category: Blogging
Posted By:Mitch~Tweed~Michelle

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Ahhhh, my 31st birthday. Jeremy was so sweet, and totally hooked me up with an awesome day. He and the kids got me a cake, this really hip, way old barstool for my kitchen, and Jeremy set up babysitting for the kids so we could go out to dinner with Eric and Gini. Very nice…oh, and also so we could go see “Ricky Bobby”–a movie I thought looked hilarious (I love Will Ferrell), but ended up being overly crude. Still funny, but the language that came out of two children’s mouths was absurd and sickening. Don’t waste your time or money. It would have been much much much better if I wasn’t focused on how the kids were talking to their elders.

Anyway, had a wonderful day. Hope you enjoy the video! Those boys need voice lessons!! Although it’s less expensive to just buy earplugs for myself…

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Oops, I Did It Again
Current mood: rejuvenated
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Key Verse:

Lamentations 3:22-24, Because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. (NIV)

Devotion:

Time for everybody to go to bed, I commanded in a very dramatic fashion.

But its still light outside, my children protested.

I had no idea what time the clock said and frankly I didnt care. Bedtime was going to rescue me from this disaster of an evening, and Id had enough.

What started out as a relaxing afternoon of lying on the couch indulging myself in a good book, ended in total chaos. Three sentences into the first page, my three happy daughters who had been playing in the yard came thundering into the house having turned into grumpy, hot, messy creatures, intent on wreaking havoc in my sanctuary.

Mom, my straw busted through the bottom of my drink, one cried as she carried the dripping cup of sticky orange liquid through the living room, through the kitchen and parked in front of me on the den carpet. I jumped from the couch, grabbed the drink, and turned to find another creature standing behind me, her new church outfit covered in mud. Then started the whining in the kitchen from one staring down at the crock pot, Why cant we be like normal families and eat out at restaurants? We always eat at home. I gave up on the book reading and with a frustrated huff called everyone to an early dinner.

To add even more drama to my bedtime announcement, I concluded by saying that after they got ready for bed they should go sit on their beds and moan. for the Bible says that the Holy Spirit will lift up prayers on our behalf if all we can do is moan.

So, the Holy Spirit will be tucking you into bed tonight. I am done! I turned, grabbed the book I never got to read, and marched off to my bedroom. Mommy was putting herself in time out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I don’t know about you moms out there, but the above situation is totally me-unfortunately. Those of you who talk to me on a regular basis are well aware of the days when my kids seem to do everything to set me off, stress me out or further drive me mad. Why on earth can’t an 8 year old and a 2 year old see that they are turning me into a berserko?????? Probably because that is not their job…it’s mine.

I am told over and over and over again in scripture to turn my crap over to Christ, to lean on Him instead of myself or others, and to find His truth in His word-and then obey. From what I can tell, it’s my responsibility completely to keep myself sane based on His promises. It’s not my husband’s job, my kids’ job or my friends’ job. I alone am responsible for myself and my actions. If I am to live a godly life, teach my kids how to lead a godly life and encourage my husband to lead a godly life, the only way to accomplish that is to ask God to be my everything. My portion. My substance. My sanity. My life.

I can’t get there on my own. I have no power to overcome the swell of emotions that ebb and flow every 28 days or so. I am not capable of controlling clinical depression. But I am able, through Christ, to turn over every single thought that enters my head, including those that say, “Why can’t I just get some time to myself?!” One thing I have learned to apply to my life is an actual time out for myself. All it takes is calmly telling the kids to go to their rooms while Mom cools down, then 10 minutes or so of searching His word for His portion. It’s there. 24/7. Trust me – I know.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Current mood: grateful

My bible study this morning was on communicating with my spouse. I’m not sure why God thought I needed that lesson-He must not be aware of my amazing listening skills and my even more astounding speaking skills! I am the Queen of Communication!

Okay, clearly, the above paragraph is total bull. I am like an elephant in a china shop when it comes to trying to get someone to understand me-especially in a disagreement. Jeremy is the one person who comes face to face with that ugly elephant more than any other. Thankfully, he is a pretty patient gent, and while I am not (patient or a gentleman), we balance each other well, and teach each other a lot.

Learning how to respect my husband as a man has served me well throughout the past several years. We are coming up on our 10th anniversary-but only by God’s grace. The first 3 years of our marriage were rocky to say the least. I was hellbent on getting my way, using the excuse “that’s just the way I am”. I have since discovered that even if “that is the way I am”, that’s not the way I should act or treat people, especially my husband. He is the man I trusted the rest of my life with, the man I chose to become one in Christ with, the man I have given my innermost heart to, the man I trusted to raise children with, and most importantly, the man. God has placed him above me, and me beside him-to help him, to guide him, to love him, to support him. Never once does God put me in charge of our family, no matter how much I disagree. If I can’t trust my marriage to God, where on earth else would I turn?

(I stole the title of this blog from Dr. Laura’s book, titled the same)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Forget about your two left feet
Current mood: determined

I just finished my bible study for the morning, and again, another insightful and thought provoking one. The key verse is Matt 6:33,34 and the title of the study was “Plate Spinner”.

Just early this week, I had the opportunity to experience professional plate spinning-not for beginners! I had Tammy’s kids, so altogether I had 6 kids in my charge, age 8 down to 1. In my day to day life, I feel like a plate spinner, juggling the responsibilities of being a godly and supportive wife to a husband who works very hard to support our little family, being a responsible and objective mom to two people that God Himself entrusted to me to teach of His love, His provision, His discipline and His will. How do I do that when I myself struggle trying to hear the answer? Then there’s the job of keeping the books straight for our business, keeping my family fed with healthy and balanced food, keeping our home clean and somewhat ready for anyone to drop in and feel at home, keeping my cherished friendships nourished and cared for by spending time in person and in prayer with and for them and their children. Top that off with a helping of attempting to lead our congregation in intimate and meaningful worship, and you can stick a fork in me.

But God tells us in Matthew 6 that HE alone will deliver me. He will not keep all of the plates spinning in perfecty symmetry, but He will deliver me. I try to follow a literal priority list every day, one that I have to physically consult, making sure that no matter what, my relationship with Christ is first and foremost. I’ve learned that in following that, the rest will naturally follow suit.

God is good-feel free to dance.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

YUMMMMMY!
Current mood: thankful
Category: Quiz/Survey

wHO kNEW tHEY mADE dARK cHOCOLATE m&mS?? oH, dEAR lORD, i mIGHT hAVE dIED aND gONE tO mEET mY mAKER…

http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/

August 2, 2006

Encouragement for Today

Principle 1

Fixing My Eyes

Amanda Waldroop, Staff Writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries

Key Verse:

Hebrews 12:1-3, Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (NIV)

Devotion:

I love to run. I picked it up when I was a freshman in high school and joined the Cross Country team to improve. Ive done many 5ks and a marathon since then, and its become a habitual stress-reliever for me. The funny thing about running is that its a brutal way to exercise, but theres nothing quite like the runners high you experience afterward after youve spent yourself completely.

I ran my first 10k race a few months ago. It had been several years since Id done any kind of racing, so I was a little nervous about setting a realistic goal to pursue. After some thought, I decided that I wanted to finish within 1 hour, and to not walk at all. So I trained consistently for one month, and made sure to drink lots of fluids the day before the race.

It just so happened that two male friends of mine were doing the race as well, so we met up at the starting line and set out together when the gun went off. In a crowd of 50,000 runners and walkers, the three of us found that it was incredibly difficult to maneuver through them all at a decent pace. We also found it was almost impossible not to become separated from one another. Unintentionally this happened, and one of us got left behind.

A little nervous about not being able to find my way back to my hotel when the race was over, I determined that I was not going to lose my other friend. This would mean something very challenging for me: I would have to keep a steady pace with a male (who was quite a bit faster than me) and I would have to fix my eyes on him at all times to make sure I didnt lose sight of him. Thankfully he had on a bright blue shirt, so this would not be too difficult if I stayed close in proximity.

For the first half of the race I was the one leading. Around mile 5, I started hurting and my friend passed me. I could feel the lactic acid setting into my muscles. The salty sweat poured down my face, stinging my eyes, making them foggy. The blue shirt I was set on keeping in sight was getting blurry, but I knew that if I lost it I would lose heart. I would start walking, and my goal for the day would be shot. It was at that point that I realized how desperately I needed to push, to persevere, through the hindering crowd and tell my screaming muscles to be quiet. There was no compromising: I must fix my eyes on my goal the blue shirt.

It is the same for the Christian life. I believe the author of Hebrews must have enjoyed races. He had a good perspective on what it meant to run the marathon of life. He challenged us to consistently throw off those things that would hinder us in the race of life because there would be many of them. He knew that if we didnt have our focus fixed on something steady, we would easily give up when our faith is challenged beyond our understanding. Thats why he said we must fix our eyes on something some kind of goal. That goal was to be the person of Jesus Christ His life, His death, His mission to bring people into relationship with Him, and His desire for us to become like Him in every way.

Once we enter a covenant relationship with God, we are no longer individuals. We become identified with our Covenant Partner. We adopt His goals as our goals, and we must not give up in pursuing them. After all, He didnt give up on the mission that God sent Him to earth to accomplish, and He pleads for us to push through the hard stuff and do the same. He endured the greatest hindrance of all, death, and overcame its finality. Be sure to read todays application steps and consider what it means for you to fix your eyes on Jesus Christ.

My Prayer for Today:

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask for You to give me a proper perspective of what it means to fix my eyes on You. Reveal to me beautiful spiritual truths found in Your Word. Truths about my role in the mission You came here to accomplish. Truths about loving others, being unified with believers, and what it means to finish strong. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Application Steps:

Do you ever experience difficulty maneuvering through a crowd of believers that dont run at the same spiritual pace as you? Ever get so annoyed with them that you refuse to run with them at all? If so, I challenge you to remember that pushing those individuals (and being willing to be pushed by them) is part of accomplishing the long-term goal of becoming unified in purpose as the Body of Christ.

Evaluate your over and under-use of your spiritual arms and legs. Working too hard and not working at all both produce lactic acid build-up that can be dangerous to your overall effectiveness in accomplishing the Lords work. Train them gradually and moderately. Dont be afraid to push yourself, but make sure you are taking in enough living water so that spiritual and emotional dehydration does not occur when the sweat is really pouring out.

Reflection Points:

Do you fix your eyes on the person of Jesus Christ and the truths of who He is revealed in Gods Word?

Are you feeling lots of spiritual lactic-acid build up in your muscles right now that is slowing you down in the race?

Have you come to a place where you realize your deep and intense need to fix your eyes on Jesus in order not to lose heart in this world?

Power Verses:

Proverbs 4:25-26, Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. (NIV)

John 17:24, Father, I want those You have given Me to be with Me where I am, and to see My glory, the glory You have given Me because You loved Me before the creation of the world. (NIV)

Acts 20:24, However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given methe task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. (NIV)

Galatians 5:7, You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? (NIV)

Additional Resources:

Running on Empty by Aaron Chambers

http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/newresources_runningEmpty.htm

The P31 Woman Magazine

http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/subscription.htm

Persevering in Prayer, ETC Corner http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/etcJan06.htm

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I see your face in a crowded place…
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Have you ever wondered about the people in your past? Ten years after I lost touch with people I cared very deeply about, I have now found a connection. Ten years of wondering, hoping, wishing and praying, praying, praying I have stumbled upon a fork in the winding road. God is gracious in answering prayer, and God is sovereign in every situation. Ten years…