Wednesday, May 09, 2007

lost and afraid
Current mood: weird
Category: Writing and Poetry
She wanders through her day, not caring where it may take her. She listens to the voices, while begging them, pleading with them, to shut up. Suddenly, she feels claustrophobic and distanced, simultaneously. She continues to fear her past, her hurt, her neglect, her abandonment and her tears. She wants to cry, but doesn’t know how. No one is there to hold her anyway. If they were, she would push them far away before begging for refuge. Again, the voices…the constant and calling voices. Much too familiar, yet so completely frightening. They live in her head, and refuse to move out. They strangle her heart, while clawing at her soul. She knows darkness-all too well. She knows she can’t stay here. She knows the potential danger of giving in to what they propose. She cares not. Not enough to try. Not enough to linger in the light provided her. Provision of God. Power of Christ. Presence of Spirit. She wants to, needs to, longs to cry and be consoled! She misses what she never had. How do you give love when you never received it? How do you share what you don’t own? How can I take my history and change it forever? She cares not.