Once upon a time there was a very happy couple. Their names were freedom and capitalism. They married and had many wonderful children. Their names were independence, self-worth, hard work, dignity, charity, faith and hope. They all lived happily for many years and the children respected their parents and loved them both very much.
But freedom and capitalism later had several naughty children, very naughty. They weren’t so respectful and never appreciated their parents. Their names were wealth envy, environmentalism, animal rights activism, racism, feminism, ultra liberalism. These evil children blamed their parents for everything and hated their parents’ freedom and capitalism. In fact, these unappreciative children began to hate their parents since they didn’t realize their parents gave them everything they had and didn’t realize that they wouldn’t even exist without their parents. They hated their parents so much, they began to plot with their neighbors to kill their parents and to keep their home.
Their neighbors’ names were socialism and communism who on the outside were a very lovely couple but inside they were very, very ugly. They and their children, whose names were despair, poverty, suffering, and repression had been welcomed into every neighborhood they had lived in. But then thrown out after years of suffering and the loss of many lives. So late one night in total darkness because socialism and communism did everything in darkness and the way from the light of the truth, while everyone was asleep, wealth envy, environmentalism, feminism, animal rights, by their younger obnoxious brother, Hollywood, disguised by socialism and communism and let them into the house, freedom and capitalism. It wasn’t hard, for the two parents, freedom and capitalism, always left their gates and their door open for everyone.
Wealth led the way because he knew the house oh, so well. The evil children led socialism and communism throughout the house, one room at a time. And one at a time they killed hard work, then dignity, then independence, self-worth, charity and faith. They finally found the room of freedom and capitalism and killed them as well. It wasn’t hard to do, since freedom and capitalism always left their door unlocked and open for everyone. Only hope survived. Hope survived hiding in the closet. She ran out during the ensuing celebration.
After socialism and communism moved in, things went well for a while but then they decided they didn’t like freedom and capitalism’s evil children, either. They wanted their own children to have the rooms in their new house. So late one night in total darkness because socialism and communism did everything in darkness and away from the light of the truth, they sent their children to kill freedom and capitalism’s remaining evil children. Poverty and suffering killed environmentalism and animal rights first, for they were so hungry, they had to kill all the animals for food and the trees for their wood. And besides, why should animals have rights if people don’t? Hopelessness killed liberalism, the retarded brother of communism. Then poverty, suffering, and repression killed feminism. The retarded sister of liberalism. And Hollywood, the young obnoxious son of freedom and capitalism, was also killed. Finally, wealth envy, who led the attack on his parents, died at the hands of poverty since there was nothing left to envy.
So socialism and communism and their children, poverty, despair, hopelessness, suffering, repression lived in the once beautiful home of freedom and capitalism which was now in great disrepair and they all lived sadly ever after. All that was left of the family of freedom and capitalism was hope who was quietly hiding in the woods.
-Dr. John Rossi